If the Army had a 2009 like the rest of us
27 February 2010
ORDER OF THE DAY
TO THE OFFICERS AND ENLISTED MEN OF THE UNITED STATES ARMY NORTH:
Wear sunscreen.
No, I’m kidding. It’s actually pretty cold.
It’s been a busy week here at HQ. We’ve recently finished updating our computer systems to operate on entirely 3G wireless systems, so from now on we will always be in touch! This is just the first step in our effort to redress the issues raised during the engagement at Hill 382 last month. In related good news, I’ve just seen the latest reports and almost half the forces of the old 120th Infantry Brigade will soon be available for reassignment to other units. Thanks to the Medical Corps for more great work!
On a less happy note we’ve received some disturbing reports of missing food across a number of units from battallion level on down. It goes without saying that such thefts are court-martialling offenses and will not be tolerated anywhere in the Army. We will not be able to continue promotions such as “Five Courses with a Five Star” (congratulations to this month’s winners CPL Jeffries and PFC Wosckowski of Charlie Company, Brigade Support Battalion, 13th Infantry) if our generosity is rewarded with this sort of behavior. We understand the food shortage is acute. We are actively addressing it.
Enlisted personnel are reminded that disturbances, food-related or otherwise, are a capital offense.
Additionally we understand that tempers are running a bit high as we continue to withdraw forces from New York to other parts of the front. As a result the C/Os of all of our brigade support batallions have come together to organize a General Funtreat, with prizes, requisitioned carnival rides and air raid drills. The winners will receive three-day passes behind the lines, with transportation to Pittsburgh.
Entrants are reminded that desertion is a capital offense.
More than ever it’s important to remember that we’re all in this together. It’s been a tough year – no one denies this – but the Army’s fundamental strength is as good as it has ever been. With the American spirit in our hearts, funding as high as its ever been and the latest and best resources, we will defeat our enemies and build a nation bigger, more enterprising and more vigorous than we have ever seen before. For that the commitment of every man and woman among you is indispensible.
Enlisted personnel are reminded that disobeying orders is a capital offense.
Chief of Staff, US ARMY NORTH
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